I really disagree that children work at their young age. Even they can get working experience and learn about discipline, it is unnecessary because the earnings can not be compared with their effort. Industrial companies make them work over the permitted hour with minimum wage.
The government has determined the compulsory education for at least to ninth grade of formal school. At the time they grow, children should get enough education to provide better living for their families. Seems like it is what the working children intended to, or perhaps the parents that force their children to work.
These working children have to work an average of 8 hours a day in uncomfortable places and situations. Over 70% of the children become sick for long working hour and lack of rest. This is an apprehensive fact while Indonesia has so many labor forces which are not under age. The industrial companies really should not recruit children. (reall examples, data, cases will be really good to support your views. Go to google)
Even though child labor is still allowable in Indonesia, children should not work because they have to get good enough education, besides, they can get sick from the long hour work.
In general your essay is good.
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